What would I have been doing if I were celebrating Ash Wednesday in Omaha at Creighton?
For Ash Wednesday, we had a special prayer service on our retreat. We all sat ourtside in plastic chairs (a Dominican staple) in a circle. There were little kids running around, crickets chirping, dogs barking.
We had two readings (Joel and Corinthians) and a gospel reading (Matthew), all read by students. Themes were about how "now is an acceptable time" and about how we need to pray and fast in secret. God will see what is hidden and knows what is in the depths of our hearts and will reward us in Heaven.
After the readings, Kyle (our program director) led a reflection. Usually during Lent, we tend to focus on the glorious resurrection and the special significance it has for us. But Kyle talked about how it is especially fitting for us to reflect on Jesus' crucifixion as we are witnessing what Brackley (a book we're reading in class) calls the "crucified people of today," especially after having just been on our first immersion in Hato Viejo. We've just witnessed firsthand what it means to be poor, living under sub-standard conditions for humans, facing corruption, disrespect, and injustice every single day. These people are surely crucified and marginalized today in the same way Jesus was back then.
Question now is this: What will our response be?
One comment that stood out by a student was that often times we are considered the "hands and feet of God on this earth," but we forget really easily that Jesus' hands and feet were pierced. Thus, ours will be, too. Jesus faced immense suffering, rejection, and pain, and if we're following in His footsteps, we can expect that our journeys will not be easy. We'll carry our own crosses, just like He did, and face our own burdens and trials.
This comes to no surprise, as I analyze how I'm feeling right now. Conflicted, torn, emotional, sad, confused, reflective, guilty, helpless, impatient, restless, annoyed... these are all things I've been feeling, as have others in my group. I miss living in the campo so much and long to be back in a simple environment. I miss the language, my family and all my new friends, the relaxed, joyful lifestyle. I don't want the burden of having so much material goods. With excess materials comes excess troubles and worries and concerns. It's all so unnecessary for a happy life!
"I will lift my eyes to the healer of the hurt I hold inside. I will lift my eyes to the maker of the mountains I cannot climb." ("I Will Lift My Eyes," Bebo Norman)
There is so much noise in our lives. Physical noise sure - dogs fighting, crickets chirping, construction, loud Dominicans, kids yelling, roosters crowing... But I'm talking about spiritual, mental, "worldly noise" - having so many worries about the future, gossip, hateful thoughts and talk, materialism, plans, wealth. Everything just seems so trivial right now. (Especially school and the 20-page paper coming up in Kyle's class!) Trying to discern a major, figure out classes for the fall, summer plans for class and work... What is my vocation in life and how am I going to respond to what I'm witnessing here this semester? What is God saying to me?
"One the road marked with suffering; though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your Name." ("Blessed Be Your Name," Matt Redman)
After we reflected, we did petitions, said the Our Father, and gave eachother the Sign of Peace. Last, we annointed eachother with ashes, which was really cool because usually the priest or someone else annoints you. But we got to annoint eachother and pass around the cup of ashes. And, the ashes were actually burnt banana leaves that Kyle and some students had made earlier that afternoon. It was beautiful to do this service here in the mountains and to be able to use the banana leaves because these trees are everywhere in the DR. They are a source of nourishment for the Dominicans and for us.
When we made the sign of the cross on each other's foreheads, we said:
"Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."
What am I going to do with this gift of life God has given me?
What am I going to do or not do this Lenten season to grow closer to Christ and others?
How am I going to respond to the crucified people I am living amongst and serving here in the Dominican Republic?
How am I going to respond to God's call to get free to love and to serve?
How can I re-prioritize my life to more fully live in solidarity through simplicity and humility?
Good questions...
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